tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48016956612739606972024-03-14T07:07:19.425-07:00Nikki BergrenNikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-37629802855388563362010-12-05T19:36:00.000-08:002010-12-05T19:37:17.943-08:00i take it backthe bloom where you're planted thing isn't working haha. i'm trying really hard, but i think i'll grow better in idaho soil. ;Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-44741865086500346612010-11-30T01:35:00.000-08:002010-11-30T01:58:45.526-08:00Bloom Where You're PlantedDo you ever reach a point in your life where you are discontented with how things are? You become complacent and accept things that you know should change, conditioning your future responses to past situations. That is what I have done. I have let past failures seep into my life and they have affected my current situations. I am so grateful for late night talks with people who care and for those little moments when you can take a step out of the monotony to make something better for yourself.<br /><br />I am moving to Idaho in a month, but I am not going to wait that long to change the things I want to.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">True:</div><div style="text-align: center;">Sometimes you need to bloom where you're planted. </div><br />Unfortunately, I haven't really taken advantage of that in certain ways. Instead of working towards bettering myself, I have focused on imperfections. Instead of going for what I want, I have allowed my fears to chain me. Instead of loving unconditionally, I have only loved others who love unconditionally. Instead of trusting in the Lord, I have relied on a rotting and rusted framework of worldly supports. <div><br /></div><div>No one is perfect, and chances are, I'll fall back into some ruts and have to dig myself out again someday, but isn't that what life's about; defining moments where you make changes to better yourself? I have to say I feel the most alive when I realize I need to make a change. It feels good... like shedding old skin or hole-filled leaves and faded petals so you can open your new eyes to the sun. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Bloom where you're planted;</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"> best advice I've received to date. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.ipm.iastate.edu/ipm/hortnews/files/images/200604peonywhite.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 504px; height: 661px;" src="http://www.ipm.iastate.edu/ipm/hortnews/files/images/200604peonywhite.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-9134440498510083742010-11-29T15:24:00.000-08:002010-11-29T15:40:39.989-08:00CHRISTMAS!SO... I'm not ready for Thanksgiving break to be over. <br /><br />I went with Tyler and his family up to Pine Valley, UT and we cut down two Christmas trees and one of them is in my house, specifically in my room. It was so much fun! Anyway... it's over now and I don't want to adjust. Three weeks until my boyfriend is back in town and then two more weeks until I am out of Las Vegas and moving to Rexburg. <br /><br />I'm seriously considering selling my car. It has turned into a LEMON! And I can't make lemonade out of it. It's a rotten one... <br /><br />So many things are gonna happen in the next month. I'm just trying to ride the wave I'm on and enjoy it instead of get bogged down by the crap. <br /><br />Good things in my life: (in no particular order)<br /><br />1. My Christmas Tree and the pine scent that wafts around my room<br />2. My primary kids<br />3. My BoYfRiEnD <3<br />4. My ceramics class<br />5. The gospel<br />6. Great friends and family that support me in my decisions and love me in spite of my faults<br />7. My guitar<br />8. I'm going to BYUI and being a MUSIC MAJOR!<br />9. I know what I want in my life and I am going for it. <br /><br />Life is really good. Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves... and get back to daily prayer and scripture study. <br /><br />;) <br /><br />peace. xoNikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-48195004725904973472010-11-10T09:46:00.000-08:002010-11-10T10:02:40.886-08:00Mmm... better.Okay this is gonna be a long one. Brace yourself. I haven't updated my blog in SUCH a long time!! <br /><br />Right now I'm kind of in a slump. I'm working, going to school and I feel like I can't ever catch up on everything I need to get done! Once I finish one project there's another one waiting to be tackled. I have recently been accepted to BYUI and am going for my music education degree with an emphasis in vocal performance. <br /><br />A lot of things have changed since I last updated. I have new hair, new clothes, a new cat, new job, new car problems, a new COLLEGE! (Can't wait to get out of Vegas) and a new boyfriend. :)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZpXHriEWEEaanw6g6Mopkm8LqguaI-dZpeolgMFFVw9CCes1HrbcGuf4O6oV1Yq1KvZscCuwQpsgjc4NsTLI_KKfTNgHdafYHRG9W_5GuyJ33cgO_893a4DowxsfG1iA2wtY5aB8qBck/s1600/My+Boyfriend+%253C3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZpXHriEWEEaanw6g6Mopkm8LqguaI-dZpeolgMFFVw9CCes1HrbcGuf4O6oV1Yq1KvZscCuwQpsgjc4NsTLI_KKfTNgHdafYHRG9W_5GuyJ33cgO_893a4DowxsfG1iA2wtY5aB8qBck/s320/My+Boyfriend+%253C3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5537981367306508322" /></a><br /><br />(picture of us coming soon)<br /><br />Anyway he's adorable... and I'm gonna keep him. ;) <br /><br />So my list for today of things to do includes:<br />-cleaning my room<br />-finishing up my math homework<br />-possibly going to checker auto parts for a new battery because mine was dead this morning when my sister tried to start it and take it to work, however because i'm cool and handy like that, i jump started it and drove it around for a while to get the battery recharged. im hoping i just forgot to shut the door tight last night and that messed it up. <br />-do my french exam<br />-do a french 'live session'<br />-go to ceramics class <br />-do laundry<br />-read my scriptures<br /><br />aaaaaaaaaand I think that just about covers it. No sense in getting overwhelmed, right? 'Cause I am. Calm down, Nikki, calm down haha ;). <br /><br />Also, I love the song that plays on my blog and Tyler if you're reading this it makes me think of you <3. <br /><br />Love you all! Thanks for reading! Expect more updates soon.Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-80511884920006449302009-03-05T21:20:00.001-08:002009-03-05T21:23:21.221-08:00Planting A GardenI went with my grandma to Lowe's today. We got some mulch, strawberry plants, a few vegetables, a ton of seed packets, and tomorrow we're going to build a garden box on the side of the house and start planting all kinds of tasty veggies in it. I'm really excited. It's going to be a fun project, and it will save us a lot of money! <br /><br />I have been dealing with the WORST allergies lately. It has to be all the blooms. I can't wait 'til it goes away. <br /><br />My face is seriously puffy because of it. It looks like I've been crying, and I haven't. Its actually kind of putting me in a bad mood. I wish I was somewhere other than my room in my PJ's tonight. Oh well... <br /><br />Michael's been out for almost a year. I can't believe it.Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-80332100110233309082009-02-10T18:58:00.000-08:002009-02-10T19:06:38.128-08:00I Will Now Rise From the AshesIt is easier to say you will endure something than it is to actually do it. <br /><br />I applied for a job in Alaska this summer along with two of my best friends. All three of us got the job, but I was positioned in a store over 400 miles away from my other two friends. I am not going to take the job. The only reason I wanted to go was because I wanted to get away from life and be with my friends for a few months. <br /><br />I said, "If I don't get it, it won't bother me. I don't even know if I really want to go."<br />and then...<br />I said, "Hmm... I actually kind of want to go, but I'm still torn on whether I should."<br />to:<br />I said,"Okay I really want to go, but what if I'm not in the same city?!"<br /><br />Then the news comes, and I'm totally bummed out. I kind of feel like I don't have the right to be. I just feel like I never go for what I really want. This would have been a really good thing for me, to get away with my friends and live in a place I've never been. Don't get me wrong, I am SO happy for my two best friends to go up there. I know they're going to have a blast, I just wish I was going to have a blast with them. <br /><br />I can't shake this feeling that I want something extraordinary to happen in my life. I'm restless. I want to be spontaneous, live life on a whim for a while. Go do something outrageous, instead of being here. I feel like a bird in a cage. I've got the wings, but I don't know how to get out and fly... <br /><br />Why is life always so bittersweet?Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-58357839806675473832009-02-08T20:48:00.000-08:002009-02-08T20:54:49.014-08:00My Little ParakeetI don't know if it's a girl or a boy yet, but its cute. :-) <div><br /></div><br><center><br><a href="http://s3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/NikkiLee543/?action=view¤t=2.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y65/NikkiLee543/2.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a></br></br></center>Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-8578732923660984362008-12-06T18:40:00.000-08:002008-12-06T18:41:58.693-08:00TonightI am hanging out with my cousin Dallas. We got her a dress for church tomorrow, and now we're watching Alice and Wonderland. I can't believe its only 6:40 at night! It seems like its 9 or 10. I'm exhausted! Anyway... the holidays are coming. I love the Christmas season, don't you? :-DNikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-61071650640497591642008-12-02T20:21:00.001-08:002008-12-02T20:22:18.693-08:00Always a decision to make...But at least I'm finally getting somewhere. MAN I had fun with those primary kids tonight. Now I need to upload some pics that I promised my very patient aunt days ago. I think I owe her big time now lol. I have a lot to do before bed tonight. *Sigh* I just cant wait to crawl into it and go to sleep. :-) I love sleep.Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-59154422223433828282008-11-12T10:12:00.000-08:002008-11-12T10:30:19.788-08:00Update Update UpdateI am going up to Utah for Thanksgiving. I will be leaving a week from tomorrow and I won't be back until December 1st. The night of Thanksgiving I will be traveling from Kaysville to Elko to spend the rest of the holiday with my mother's side of the family. I've never been able to spend a holiday with everyone in my family before, so I'm pretty excited. :-) <div><br /></div><div>I've been working on getting everyone's Christmas presents together. I'm still not sure what to get for everyone... </div><div><br /></div><div>I've also been combing sales racks for cute clothes. Around the holidays, it's good to keep a tight wallet, especially since being laid off of the gondola job. I have still managed to find a cute shirt and another pair of jeans. My old pairs are slowly dying. :-( How sad... and they were the good kind too. Maybe I should save some of my clothing money and go to DownEast once I get up to Utah. I'd have to find a ride to get there... but they have pairs of jeans for way cheap, and cute shirts too... Oh the possibilities. </div><div><br /></div><div>I can't wait to spend time with my family up in Utah. I just love playing with Tanner and Brennen, and I think this time, I'll actually get to spend some more time with Lanette. I'm really excited to be able to hang out with her. I get to ride up to Utah with my dad. I can't tell you how happy I am that I don't have to fly. I'm even MORE happy to see my dad. I wish we could have spent more time together in the past, but in spite of that, we have an awesome relationship. I can talk to him about absolutely anything, and he's there for me whenever I need him. I wish everyone could be so lucky as to have a dad like mine. </div><div><br /></div><div>Being a teen, you have tons of friends and your family kind of takes the backseat, but I am definitely starting to grow out of that. I think I could solve all of my problems by just being constantly surrounded by my family members. They all live in such different places, some in Washington, some in Idaho, some in Utah, some in Nevada, and I'm sure more are scattered across the U.S.. I'm just starting to see that your family will always be there, that family always loves you. My primary goals right now are to spend as much time with my family as I possibly can, and to get college DONE! lol. </div><div><br /></div><div>I know it bothers people that stores start with the Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving, but I secretly love it. Why not spread the holiday cheer so it lasts just a little bit longer? I love Christmas. The years seem to fly by faster the older you get. I think if things continue on the course they are, that by the time I'm 40, I'll blink, and a year will have passed. </div>Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-1833008694152483482008-11-02T23:09:00.000-08:002008-11-02T23:31:17.550-08:00Another NightGrowing up is so overrated. Even when people say it stinks, they are still overrating it. Maybe it's just the limbo I'm stuck in, the uncertainty, being out on my own, figuring out what I want to do, paying bills, and I don't even have to pay all my bills yet!!! I wish I had appreciated my childhood a little bit more. I feel like I was always looking forward. I suppose I should just try to find joy in the moment, because all I'm doing now is looking back. <div><br /></div><div>I think the hardest thing for me is trusting; trusting myself that I can make good decisions, and trusting God to help me make them. I think those are things you have to learn over time. I am learning to let go, though, slowly, lol. Sometimes I wonder how it all reached this point. Looking back its so easy to say you've learned from these situations, but sometimes when you're in them, its harder to see what exactly is going on. </div><div><br /></div><div>I need to be a kid for a little while longer. I need to go find fun things to do and fun people to do them with and just laugh and play and be. </div><div><br /></div><div>"Men are that they might have joy." I know joy isn't always happiness, but I'm sure that the two intersect every once in a while... </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm on a journey to find contentment. I'm planning on getting there within the next month, so wish me luck. </div><div><br /></div>Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-75566117988713870862008-10-13T16:20:00.000-07:002008-10-13T16:24:47.585-07:00I'm kind of on a kick right now.VOTING IS IMPORTANT, SO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT. You may not think one vote counts, but if you are one of those people, if you changed your opinion, the group of you could change who is elected. Don't sell yourself or this country short. Do your duty. Become informed. Go onto the candidate's websites, find out what they are for/against, and decide which one you think will best help this country right now. If there was an election to start voting, this one would be it. Economic crisis, rising college costs, rising gas costs, taking God out of the pledge and off of coins, abortion, gay marriage. If you have an opinion on any of these things, get to the polls. If you don't, then be willing to face the consequences, whatever they may be. <div><br /></div><div><br /></div><center><span id="pyzam-graphic-start" style="display:none"></span><br /><p><a href="http://www.pyzam.com/graphics"><img src="http://content.pyzam.com/graphics/b/vote1.gif" alt="Vote Button" border="0" /></a></center>Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-13356924088619444952008-10-03T08:15:00.000-07:002008-10-03T08:20:19.165-07:00Planting Healing Seeds<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/61/163677679_0124840fe6.jpg?v=0"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/61/163677679_0124840fe6.jpg?v=0" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Today my grandma and I went over to a lady's house that we know whose son had just passed away, and we planted flowers in her garden. Last night we snuck onto her porch and filled an empty barrel with some fake flowers from Michael's. My grandma is so funny. She does all of these things and tries not to get caught. She loves service, and I am so grateful that she allowed me to be a part of this today, because I know that I have received blessings now also. <br /><br />I'm starting to feel like myself again. Thank you everyone for your prayers. Can you keep them coming a little while longer? I feel like I'm almost there. If you're reading this, it probably means I love you. Whether you're family, or just a friend, and maybe you don't feel like you've made a big impact on my life, but even smiles have far-reaching effects. <br /><br />Hope you all have a happy Friday! :-) <br /><br />Lots of Love, <br /><br />NikkiNikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-33717307955195283832008-09-27T23:48:00.000-07:002008-09-28T00:00:11.199-07:00HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT MEL!!!This song's for you Aunt Melanie! <div><br /></div><div><br /></div><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dxx-6pRxXTnanUU8eHobmuM53_pfZy4UXAyX3dvVHkUmXiYfF85x3A_oEcX5q2-_JbArqaNj8CGXhgx1-tj' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><div>Lots of love,</div><div>Nikki :-*</div>Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-23506809257381152792008-09-12T23:21:00.000-07:002008-09-12T23:25:54.721-07:00Giving Thanks for TrialsThese past two years have been a constant trial for me. When I confided in her, my friend gave me some really good advice. She said, "Well sometimes you can't see an immediate reason for the trial you're going through. Maybe there isn't some grand lesson you will learn from it. Maybe you're just going through the refiner's fire and you're not quite done cookin'." <div><br /></div><div>All I can say, is God must be preparing me for Thanksgiving, hahaha! Trials become a lot easier when you think of them like that... </div><div><br /></div><div>Would you pray for me? I really need it right now. I just have a lot going on and I'm not sure how to deal with it all, or what to do, or how to fix it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Alright all, its time for bed. I'm ready for a long sleep. I'm going to wake up tomorrow happy and refreshed. Maybe I'll go on a jog or do some yoga. </div><div><br /></div><div>I love sleep. :)</div>Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-74086157103395568472008-08-24T20:17:00.000-07:002008-08-24T20:34:00.900-07:00Bucket List<div>In the next few months I want:</div><div><ul><li>to keep recording music</li><li>to read my scriptures every night</li><li>to be more consciencious about what I pray for/about</li><li>become a better pianist</li><li>get straight A's in college </li></ul></div><div>In the next year I want:</div><div><ul><li>to still be in school</li><li>to have a very stable financial situation</li><li>to have figured out what I want to do for a career</li><li>to still be single and in love with Michael M. Blasco</li></ul><div>In the next two years I want:</div><div><ul><li>to be buckling down and getting ready for graduation from UNLV with a degree I love</li><li>to be dating Michael M. Blasco</li><li>to have put out a professional CD and made a real effort to get somewhere with my music</li><li>to have performed on a stage in front of people, my own music</li></ul><div>In my life I want:</div><div><ul><li>a family</li><li>harmonious family relationships</li><li>peace, contentment</li><li>to go white water rafting</li><li>to go travel the world</li><li>to go rock climbing</li><li>to go on a cross-country road trip and not have any place in particular we want to go</li><li>to meet someone famous</li><li>to push myself to the limit, physically, mentally, spiritually</li><li>to paint beautiful oil paintings of flowers </li><li>a big house with a pool and a jacuzzi</li><li>to be completely content with who I am to the degree that no one else can affect how I feel about myself</li><li>to audition for a big production</li></ul><div>I will keep adding to this list and crossing things off as I have done before. </div></div></div></div>Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4801695661273960697.post-20696545968282746252008-06-26T22:28:00.001-07:002008-06-26T22:29:15.644-07:00YAY!My aunt Melanie just helped me create a blog!!! :)<br /><br />We're sitting here in Yellowstone in the middle of the night on the computer.<br /><br />Who needs sleep, right?Nikki Hawkeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01370167357769739140noreply@blogger.com0