Another Night

Growing up is so overrated. Even when people say it stinks, they are still overrating it. Maybe it's just the limbo I'm stuck in, the uncertainty, being out on my own, figuring out what I want to do, paying bills, and I don't even have to pay all my bills yet!!! I wish I had appreciated my childhood a little bit more. I feel like I was always looking forward. I suppose I should just try to find joy in the moment, because all I'm doing now is looking back. 

I think the hardest thing for me is trusting; trusting myself that I can make good decisions, and trusting God to help me make them. I think those are things you have to learn over time. I am learning to let go, though, slowly, lol. Sometimes I wonder how it all reached this point. Looking back its so easy to say you've learned from these situations, but sometimes when you're in them, its harder to see what exactly is going on. 

I need to be a kid for a little while longer. I need to go find fun things to do and fun people to do them with and just laugh and play and be. 

"Men are that they might have joy." I know joy isn't always happiness, but I'm sure that the two intersect every once in a while... 

I'm on a journey to find contentment. I'm planning on getting there within the next month, so wish me luck.